“Love is not the perfect match, love is the connection between two people.” – Unarine Ramaru

When you meet someone new there may be an initial attraction or ‘spark’ which encourages you to explore the possibilities and find out if there is genuine chemistry. Honesty is always the best policy; a potential partner can’t really get to know the real you if you’re pretending to be someone else! It is virtually impossible to discover if you share genuine chemistry with someone by being false or withholding parts of your personality because you’re worried your date might not like you is a waste of time.

Definitions of Chemistry include:

• A romantic or sexual spark between two people
• An unconscious decision influenced by a complex blend of factors or criteria.
• A combination of love, lust or infatuation
• A desire to be involved intimately with someone

Genuine chemistry can be difficult to define especially if you have never shared that special feeling with someone else before. Many people define chemistry as feeling of a strong connection that feels good and they’re just meant to be with their partner.
Types of Chemistry

There are various types of relationship chemistry including:

• Emotional chemistry
• Romantic chemistry
• Sexual chemistry

There are various opinions regarding relationship chemistry; some believe it is possible to create chemistry artificially but that it is better when it is spontaneous while others believe it either exists between two people or it doesn’t. Mutually shared chemistry during the Dating Game is generally considered to be the catalyst for pursuing a relationship with someone. It is often the deciding factor between whether a relationship becomes romantic or remains platonic.

Topics and conversations about general issues can reveal if you both share mutual interests that may provide opportunities for bonding. When you’re exploring potential chemistry, serious topics can be discussed but should be kept to a minimum. Avoid heavy topics during the early dates as this helps a potential partner to associate being with you as having a good time. A couple who share a similar sense of humor is usually a good indicator of good chemistry; laughter and humor make most people feel at ease so cracking a few jokes can remove any tension during a date providing your humor is not considered offensive! Several research studies have indicated people who meet in exciting or even dangerous situations often find each other more attractive.

Various studies have concluded the majority of successful and satisfying partnerships and marriages are often the result of couples being good friends before they decided to become involved romantically, so if you are looking for a serious lasting relationship, becoming friends first greatly improves your chances of a lasting union. Two people can know each other as friends for several months or years and then actually realize they have loved each all along but failed to recognize the potential for a successful relationship. What actually creates chemistry and makes it work often varies enormously when comparing different couples but a shared sense of humor, a good rapport and dates that have an element of excitement can be a positive beginning to help you to discover or increase chemistry providing the initial spark is there.

Sexual Chemistry

Two very important considerations for many women who are dating:

When to have sex for the first time

If the timing is appropriate

When you’re dating a new man or woman and feel a strong sexual attraction you might indulge in many fantasies as your imagination but the only way to discover if you’re a ‘good match’ sexually is by having sex with him! It always makes sense to ‘try before you buy’ to discover if you’re both sexually compatible, but don’t make the common mistake of being so overwhelmed by physical attraction or sexual chemistry that you ignore your commonsense. Women should exercise their freedom to explore their sexuality while understanding the average guy is less likely to take a woman seriously if he believes she has had sex with him to quickly.

Powerful feelings of mutual chemistry and attraction lay the foundation for many successful relationships but it can also influence men and women to act impulsively resulting in poor decisions. Blindly pursuing romantic or sexual chemistry can influence people to ignore obvious warning signs or entice them into embarking on unsuitable relationships with partners who lack overall compatibility. Attraction and sexual chemistry can grow over time but a seed or spark often has to be present at the very beginning. It’s quite possible to meet someone new and not to feel an instant attraction or fail to sense any kind of sexual chemistry.

This doesn’t mean you should immediately dismiss someone as a potential candidate for a relationship; over time he may ‘grow on you’ and the attraction could increase during the dating process as more of his/her character and personality are gradually revealed. Rushing to judgment about someone because you do not feel an instant spark of sexual chemistry or physical attraction can lead you to overlook a partner with great potential! You could discover over a period of time that you resonate with a potential partner in the other important areas of compatibility which in turn could make him more attractive sexually so take your time but always follow your instincts. If it isn’t there at the beginning this doesn’t mean it won’t happen but if there is a failure to establish chemistry over a reasonable period of time then you need to seriously consider if the relationship is viable.

Extract: How To Avoid The Big Relationship Mistakes – Nigel Beckles Paperback and Kindle formats available http://amzn.to/2bY1IhU
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