Abuse & Intermittent Reinforcement: A Powerful Tool of Manipulation

“When an abuser/controller shows the victim some small kindness, even though it is to the abusers benefit as well, the victim interprets that small kindness as a positive trait of the captor.” – Dr. Joe Carver, Love and Stockholm Syndrome Avoiding the abuse of Intermittent Reinforcement involves maintaining healthy personal boundaries consistently. This can often be […]

Generational Parental Abuse That Damages Children

“Fear of breaking family loyalty is one of the greatest stumbling blockages to recovery. Yet, until we admit certain things we would rather excuse or deny, we cannot truly begin to put the past in the past, and leave it there once and for all. Unless we do that, we cannot even begin to think […]

The Challenges of Getting to a Relationship Commitment

“There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”  ― Ken Blanchard Everyone has some commitment issues because making a commitment, especially to another person, can be frightening. Making a commitment to someone else […]

The Relationship Commitment Phobic

Most people have commitment fears and conflicts to varying degrees. It is how these fears and conflicts are managed that makes the difference between having a real opportunity for building a solid, enduring relationship and destroying every potentially viable partnership. The mindset of worry anxiety can be considered to be someone living in the future. […]

The Narcissist & Cheating

A Narcissist will often set up a ‘Love Triangle’ using very specific masks they apply to the process: 1) The Current Partner:  The Narcissist will actually go out of their way to ensure you know about their infidelities to make you feel insecure but will never actually admit to cheating. This may involve openly flirting […]

How Parents Can Influence Your Relationship Choices

The adult you are today is a direct byproduct of the relationships observed and experienced during your childhood. Whatever you have learnt about negotiating, intimate relating, intimacy and power along with your expectations in terms of relationship fulfillment are modeled on the early relationships you witnessed as a child. The relationships we have with our […]

Healthy Personal Boundaries

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behaviour or a choice.” – Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are […]

The Toxic Connection

In the book ‘The 48 Laws of Power’ the authors makes the point that emotional states can be infectious as diseases and this very true. Does your partner always have problems and a constant negative attitude? If so it is time to seriously evaluate why you are staying with someone who constantly drags down your […]

Narcissistic Abuse in Relationships Overview

“They are aware of what they are doing to others – but they do not care.” -Sam Vaknin, Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited For many victims of abuse, by the time they realize their partner has a serious problem they have begun to feel as if they are going crazy. They doubt themselves and their […]

Relationships: Understanding & Exploring Chemistry

“Love is not the perfect match, love is the connection between two people.” – Unarine Ramaru When you meet someone new there may be an initial attraction or ‘spark’ which encourages you to explore the possibilities and find out if there is genuine chemistry. Honesty is always the best policy; a potential partner can’t really […]