The Covert Narcissist can be the most dangerous of narcissistic personality type. They strive on convincingly pretending to be a person they are not, obtaining what they want by creating a false persona knowing full well if others discovered their true character, a normal person would reject them with horror and disgust. Survival for this type relies solely on upon their ability to deceive those unaware of their true personality disordered selves. To the unsuspecting outside world they appear to be kind, empathic, altruistic, gentle, wounded and even vulnerable or humble.

They can portray themselves as being very interested in spiritual enlightenment, religion, meditation, yoga or physical fitness and present themselves as a beacon of personal integrity. The Covert Narcissist can reel people in with their standard pity ploy ‘poor me’ fake routines to make themselves appear to be a victim which blindsides their targets. These types can be teachers, religious leaders, politicians, counsellors or anyone in a position of influence or power. A very dangerous human version of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

In my personal experience and others I have supported during their recovery, these people are very treacherous predators when seeking out new targets. They seek out new victims online, in cubs, bars or even in your local convenience store. Once they have hooked in a victim for a ‘relationship’ they reserve their extreme selfishness, cruelty and rage for their partner or those closest to them. The Covert Narcissist can be very difficult to identify and even more challenging to expose. If you are on dating scene be careful out there.         

Extract from my forthcoming book to be published in 2020: ‘How to Avoid Abusive Relationships: A Guide to Toxic Personalities’