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The Reflections on Relationships Alliance consists of professional, Certified Relationship and Life Coaches with a vision of guiding people towards healthy and loving relationships. This is achieved through workshops, seminars as well as personal coaching.  The Relationships Alliance’s mission is to support strong and stable relationships by:

• Providing high quality information on the importance of healthy relationships

• Growing the market place for relationship support so that more relationships are supported in more ways

• Delivering high quality workshops, seminars and information to participants

• Highlighting the dangers of abusive relationships and advising on exit strategies   

• Assisting the public and the media to understand why healthy personal relationships matter

This document sets out the Reflections on Relationships Alliance manifesto; The document was written by Nigel Beckles Chair of the Alliance, Author and Certified Relationship Coach.  For more information about this manifesto please contact Nigel: beckles13@hotmail.com  

Introduction

Intimate relationships can impact on every aspect of people’s lives and fundamental to a feeling of personal wellbeing and sense of self. Each person can benefit from strong, healthy relationship with themselves and others.  

Why Relationships Matter

Unhealthy relationships  are associated with a wide range of negative outcomes for adults and children. It has been shown to lead to:

  • Negative physical and mental health
  • Less favourable employment outcomes 
  • Higher levels of negative health behaviours such as drinking alcohol to excess or smoking

Unhealthy relationship quality also has a considerable impact on children. Dysfunctional relationships between parents has been associated with poor parenting behaviours and often fragile parent-child relationships while children who experience lower levels of parental conflict have better outcomes. Children who are exposed to higher levels of conflict often suffer whether their parents are together or separated.

In addition:

  • Children who live in happy households experience better physical and mental health
  • Are more likely to succeed at school
  • Found to have higher levels of emotional wellbeing

Given the fundamental importance of relationships for individuals and any children who may be involved it is clearly important for individuals to understand themselves at deeper levels to understand how their relationship choices are motivated. Many healthy relationships have their challenges at times but are mutually beneficial to those involved.

Abusive Relationships

A healthy relationship is where a person should feel safe, cherished and respected but sadly many people suffer abuse from their partners. Abuse occurs when people mistreat or misuse other people showing no concern for their emotional, mental or physical well-being. Abusers have zero integrity, do not respect a person’s worth as an individual and are frequently interested in controlling their victims.  They use abusive behaviours to manipulate their victims into submission to comply with their will.

According to the Office of National Statistics (UK) the latest figures from the Crime Survey for England and Wales show little change in the prevalence of domestic abuse in recent years. In the year ending March 2018, an estimated 2.0 million adults aged 16 to 59 years experienced domestic abuse (1.3 million women, 695,000 men). This was an increase of 23% from the previous year.  The reality is the actual figures could be even higher as not all incidents are reported.

Abuse and Domestic Violence does not discriminate; it can happen among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships occurring within all age ranges, races and economic levels. There are people who are unsure whether they are being abused or if they have suffered abuse in the past. Others may understand they have been abused but may believe they deserved it or think that some degree of abuse is acceptable, reasonable or inevitable. Abuse whether, physical, emotional or psychological can cause long lasting damage and even death; the most dangerous time for victims of abuse can often be when they are leaving the relationship or have recently left. It is very important to plan a safe exit strategy if you are being abused.

Relationship Support

Relationship support refers to information, education, support and even coaching, counselling or therapy intended to strengthen or improve couple, family, and social relationships. Relationship support in various forms can help to improve the quality of people’s relationships. It can also assist with negotiating the end of a relationship or developing skills necessary for future potential relationships.

The Reflections on Relationships Alliance promotes:

  • Promoting relational capability
  • Encouraging self-development
  • Preventing relationship distress
  • Protecting whenever possible people identified as suffering relationship distress

It is very apparent that many more people could benefit from reliable and professional relationship information but at times there are barriers regarding access. For example, cultural stigma can be a significant barrier that prevents individuals or couples from accessing relationship support. Some people can feel more comfortable accessing support which they feel is non-stigmatising and anonymous, such as online support. In addition, established forms, such as relationship counselling, can be expensive, especially for those on low incomes.

Certified Relationship & Life Coaches

Unfortunately, there are some people who claim to be ‘Relationship Coaches’, ‘Life Coaches’ or ‘Relationship Specialists’ who have absolutely no formal training. This can result in paying money to individuals while receiving poor advice and guidance. The Reflections on Relationships Alliance consists of affiliates who have been certified and recognised for their knowledge and expertise.

Conclusion

This manifesto sets out the Reflections on Relationships Alliance’s vision for how we can support and assist individuals and couple’s. Relationship distress and breakdown can be reduced with the correct information and support. We aim to help others with relationships by promoting and developing relationship support in various ways. Through this we can move towards stabilising our relationships with ourselves and others, avoid the emotional distress of making poor relationship choices and guide people towards finding a partner for a healthy, loving relationship. 

About

Author of ‘How to Avoid Making the Big Relationship Mistakes’ available from Amazon now & ‘How to Avoid Abusive Relationships’ to be published in 2019. He is also a certified Relationship Coach, speaker, workshop facilitator, online adviser and a contributor to the award winning movie documentary ‘Looking For Love’ now available on DVD.

  Relationship Coaching Programme Available